I was in the middle of a buffalo hunt and at the end a pavilion was set up. With me there was my mother and someone who was my sister, but she did not look like my real sis. I went for a walk, to a tree in the distance.
I was not the only person going that way. A tall young guy was following me, trailing behind me a few dozen yards.
I ignored him, hoping he would turn away before i had to talk to him. Unfortunately for me I had no such luck. I got to the tree and sat down watching the land, and, out of the corner of my eye, the guy following me. He was around 22-24 and tan with dark hair and eyes. He came over and asked to join me. I was a little uncomfortable but wanting to be polite i nodded. He sat down next to me and started talking. I responded little and after a while I stood and asked him to leave.
He also stood up then and I could not help but notice how much taller than me he was. At 5'2 I was rather short and he towered over me at least a foot. He took a step towards me causing me to back up against the tree.
"Are you scared of me"? he asked smirking and stepped towards me again.
I was scared and did not want to admit it so like a complete idiot I told him to fuck off. "Is that an offer"? he asked me, like a creepy threatening. well like that. I sputtered for a second and said rather harshly "No". "Really? 'cause it sounded like an offer". he was leering a little, or maybe he was just leaning over me a bit much and because i am so short it seemed like he was learing.
And stupid me replied "Fuck off". (Isn't it weird how stuff makes sence in dreams, but in reallity they make no sence? and you want to strangle youself for how you acted in the dream because it was so stupid and not how you would really act?) "There it is again. That offer. I think i'll take it". Then he grabbed my wrists and and pulled me towards him, his left hand crossed over trying to hold my left wrist and his right hand going for my left wrist trying to hold me with my wrists crossed and his arms straight.
But i was fighting and his arms were crossed awkwardly too. So he just lifted my arms to high for me to manage and kissed me.
I could feel his tongue pushing into my mouth as he held me and i fought harder. (You know how the setting can change in dreams and it makes perfect sence?) Then he pushed me backwards over a bed with him on top of me.
I was still fighting him and I was terrified. He could not make me settle down and accept him so he pushed me into this cupboard under the bed and held me down saying "Stop fighting. I'll let you out when you behave".
Then he started to shut the door. I am afraid of the dark and I hate being in small spaces so when he shut the door on me shutting me into a pitch black space i could hardly move in I cried. And shouted. And begged.
When he opened the door and looked down at me I was so scared I could not look away. "Will you be good now"? he asked me. I nodded and said, barely above a whisper, "I'll behave".
He pulled me out and set me gently on the bed again.
I did not fight. I just sat there and silently cried. He knelt down before me and looked at me for a long moment. Then he stood up again and slowly lowered himself over me. He started kissing me again pushing his tongue into my mouth and swirling it around. I started to gag and struggle again, revolted by the sensation. He ignored my attempts to stop him and continued, pushing me backwards as he did so. When I was lying on my back he stopped kissing me and started to stroke me, running his hands lightly up and down my arms and slowly massaging my breasts.
I turned my head away from him, looking at nothing and still crying. I skipped as much of him having intercourse with me as I could but I still remember how it felt having him push my legs apart and force himself into me.
I remember him holding me down when I cried out in pain and I remember how it felt having him so far inside of me while he shot his seed into me. I don't know if I will ever be able to forget. After a time had passed in-dream I was sitting on a grassy hill watching the sunset, waiting for it to finish before I killed my self.
I had a long thin knife, what is called a stiletto, and was deciding whether to cut my wrists, stab up under my ribs and into my heart, or try to slash my own throat. I discarded the throat slash figuring I would be unable to finnish due to shock and blood loss and I wanted an end I could be sure of.
I made my choice and watched the last sliver of sun disapear. I was about to cut my left wrist when someone came up behind me and grabbed my hand stopping me.
I shrieked and pulled away trying to slash the knife as I went. I missed and was backhanded across the face and fell to the ground on my stomach. I lay in a daze while whoever it was took the knife away and tied my hands behind my back. Everything was red and pulsing for several minutes and then my head started to clear. I screamed and thrashed on the ground for a few minutes before someone dragged me up by my hair and held the knife to my throat. "Shut up". It was a man and his voice froze me.
"Is this what you want" he asked me pressing the blade against my throat. I nodded ever so lightly, to shocked to speak. I could feel his eyes burning into the back of my head as he processed what I had just done.
He barked a laugh and pulled the knife away from my throat.
I sighed in defeat, not even caring what he thought. He gave me a push speaking as he did so "Walk". A command, as if I were a dog.
I turned to look at him and was slapped again, not as hard as before, but hard enough to hurt. I wanted to die, but quickly, not beaten to death at his leasure. But now I was shocked and when he pushed me again I just walked. I hate what happened to me,but it was just a dream.
And i want to know who it was that stopped me from killing myself ,but tied me up and ordered me to walk. So even though it feels really freakish to want the dream to continue, I want to finnish it tonight.