I have a confession to make. They say confession is good for the soul, so here I am. Now that I am this hot sex fantasy writer on this sex fantasy website, people have been expecting me to keep coming up with hot stories.
But the truth of the matter is, my sex life has not really been all that exciting. If I had to write the Kama Sutra it would only be one page. In 48 years on the planet, I really have not had that many exciting sexual experiences. I already told you most of the good stories. I told you about the time I got a job teaching oral sex at an all girls' high school. I told you about the wild airplane ride I had with my hot flight instructor.
I told you about the time that I was abducted by a tribe of wild Amazonian women while on vacation two years ago. I really don't have a lot more to tell. But here is the biggest confession I have to make. Believe me this is not easy. The fact is, not all of the stories are completely true. I know, I know, this comes as a shock. You're probably sitting there thinking I don't even deserve to live after lying to you nice people.
Believe me, if I owned a gun I'd shoot myself right now I feel so bad. But, yes, the stories are not all true. Take for instance the last story, 'Mistaken Identity'. The truth is I never owned a BMW 2002 when I was twenty years old. The fact is I drove a '74 Ford Pinto wagon. I just wanted you people to think I was cool. And the story before it, 'Lost Tribe' about a vacation I took in South America two years ago, that is not completely true either.
The fact is we never intended to pay for our guide's plane ride back from Brazil. We intended to stick them with the bill. I know, I know, I'm really sorry. Oh, but speaking of vacations, I never told you people about my vacation last year. Now this is completely true.
Every single word. I would swear to it but my mother told me never to swear. Your gonna love this one.it's the best. I promise. It all started when my cousin George invited me out to California to visit. George is one of my cousins on my mother's side of the family, the Italian side.
He had moved out to California about five years ago and I had yet to visit. I like George, he is a real down to Earth kind of guy.
A little loud, and everything he has is the best. I mean everything. His house is the best. His Cadillac is the best. His wife Bernice, the best. His kids Tony, Michael, Joseph and Rosemary.
The best, the best, the best and the best. Heck, I think if he took a dump he would tell you it's the best. I think everyone has a cousin George in the family. The point is, I needed a vacation and California sounded great. George had bought a limousine service a couple of years back. George was one of my Italian relatives who somehow always comes up with large amounts of money to buy things like businesses, but that's another story.
He and the family lived near the Hollywood hills somewhere in LA and a lot of his clientele were famous celebrity types. Every time I talked to him on the phone he would tell me about some celebrity he drove to some famous restaurant or whatever.
I might have been impressed with that sort of thing twenty years ago, but nowadays I really didn't care. The last time I spoke with George on the phone he told me how great his clientele were. In fact, they were the best. I had been planning this trip for a few weeks now, cleaning up loose ends at work and the like.
Finally the Friday afternoon before the trip arrived and I went home. I was greeted by my girlfriend Joyce. "Your cousin George called honey." She said. "Did he say I was the best?" I had to ask. "At least a dozen times." She answered. "I'll call him back later." After dinner I called George back.
I told him when we would be arriving. He would pick me up at the airport in one of his limos. That night Joyce and I went to bed early. We would have to wake up early the next day to catch our plane. We slept soundly that night and everything went well the following morning. We got our plane at Newark Airport and arrived in LA just before noon, California time. The airport was quite crowded, sort of like Times Square on New Year's Eve.
We got our bags and made our way out front. A couple of minutes later I heard shouting. "Cousin Al! Over here!" It was George and Bernice. "George I want you to meet my girlfriend Joyce. Joyce this is George and Bernice." "Joyce looks like a lovely woman, the best. You're a lucky man Al." George said. "Yea, I know." We all piled into the limo with our luggage and headed out to George's home.
It was a fairly stately place with a large circular driveway and an in-ground pool.
It seemed staying here would not be all that bad. We parked the limo in front of the house and got the luggage. We were greeted by the kids moments later. "I'm telling you Al, moving out here is the best thing I've ever done. Living out here is the best." We settled in and afterwards sat in the living room and made small talk.
George talked about how great his limousine business was and about all the famous people he's met. "Let me tell you all the famous people I met, Cous.
I drove Lindsay Lohan just the other day." George said proudly. "What did you do, drive her to rehab?" I asked somewhat sarcastically. "Ha ha. Very funny.
Actually I picked her up from rehab." Later we went to dinner at an Italian restaurant George bragged about. The food was good. Later we returned home and went to bed early. It was a long day and Joyce and I were tired from traveling. The following day we slept fairly late. Joyce and I woke up and started off the day with a bit of a romantic interlude in our room. We then went out and greeted our hosts. After a very nice brunch of poached eggs and biscuits, we all hung out by the pool.
It was a beautiful day with plenty of California sunshine overhead. Suddenly George's cell phone rang. He stepped off to carry on his conversation with a bit of privacy and then returned a bit later looking very agitated.
"I got a problem." George started in a serious tone, "One of my guys is sick and I have no one to drive tonight." "Can't you get one of your other drivers Hun?" Bernice asked. "I got nobody else.
All my other drivers are busy on other jobs and I have to drive myself tonight." George seemed concerned, "Hey wait. Cousin Al, you know I wouldn't ask this if I had any other choice, but man, do you think you can do me a solid and drive a limo tonight?" "Oh, I don't know." I said slowly.
"Oh come on honey, George will be gone and it will give Bernice and I a chance to get to know one another." Joyce said. "Oh, I don't know. I never really drove a limousine before." I was trying hard to think of a good reason to say no.
"Don't worry, it's easy. Do you have a suit?" George asked. "Why, yes.
I did bring one in case we go out later." I replied. "Great Cous. You're the best!" George exclaimed. I really didn't have much of a chance to say no and Joyce really didn't help much. I'm the best, huh?
I felt like telling my cousin the best place he could stick his damn limousine. I mean, I really didn't come all the way to California to take a temp job. "I'm telling you, you are gonna have a great time. You'll probably be picking up some famous celebrity." George said in an excited voice.
Some big celebrity I thought. Yea, probably Big Bird or maybe the GEICO gecko. "Man I always said it Cous, you're the best!" George exclaimed. After dinner at a local outdoor cafe, we all came back to the house. The girls made plans for the evening as George took me around back and gave me a tour of the limousine I would be driving.
I later went inside and changed into my suit. After explaining the procedures I needed to follow, I was given an address and shown the basics of the GPS unit.
George handed me the keys and wished me luck. "You'll have a great time. I won't forget this Cous. Man, you're the best." George said as he sent me off.
Yea, I'm the best I thought. The best moron. I was convinced at this point that if you looked up 'sucker' in the dictionary, my picture would be there. Probably in a gilded frame with spotlights shining on it. I was hoping my friends back east would never find out I went out to California and took a temp job on my vacation.
Only a moron would do that.the best, my ass. I continued down the road in the limousine. At first, it took a bit of getting used to because of the size.
After a few tire scrapes I was becoming a pro. I had driven a 25-foot box truck some years ago, so I'm sure that helped. I arrived at the address given to me and waited at the front gate. It seemed to be a rather large, stately mansion with a wall around it. Moments later a guard came out and let me in. As I drove up to the house I wondered who lived here.
Maybe it was a celebrity after all. Probably some old shipping tycoon or something, more likely I thought to myself. After about ten minutes of waiting out front, the front door of the mansion opened.
Out walked three girls dressed in fancy clothes as if for a night on the town. I had been relaxing in the front seat of the limousine with the radio on, sort of drifting off into space. As I stared out the limousine window at the three women approaching the car, I suddenly stood up at attention. In more ways than one, you might say. In my view were the three Kardashian sisters, Kim, Khloe and Kourtney.
I immediately opened the car door, hopped out of the car and went around the other side to get the car door for them. I stood at an angle so they would not see the bulge forming in my pants. "Good evening ladies." I said politely. "Hi." Kim said as she got in the car, looking up at me with those big dark eyes. I closed the door and went back around to the driver's seat.
After asking where we were going, I started off. We were headed to a fancy hotel, apparently for some kind of party.
Driving the big limousine was once again a challenge for me, though this time it was because the head of my cock kept rubbing against the bottom of the steering wheel. Once we got on the road I tried to make small talk but the girls seemed more interested in conversing among themselves.
There was plenty of laughing and giggling, as the girls seemed to be in quite a festive mood. We arrived in front of the hotel and I pulled up in front among the other limousines. There were quite a few, actually. I went around the side and opened the door.
The girls thanked me as they got out and made their way into the hotel. I sat for a moment on the hood of the car deciding what to do. I figured I would be here for a while. I talked to the other drivers for a bit comparing notes as to who we had picked up, stuff like that. After a while I decided to go around the corner to the local bar and have a drink. I had a couple of beers at the bar while watching a boxing match they had on TV. After the second drink I returned to reclaim my perch on the hood of the limo.
About ten minutes later, the girls come out of the hotel. I see that Kim appears quite upset. She actually had tears running down her lovely cheeks. "What happened?" I asked in a concerned manor. "Kim had a fight with her boyfriend and he walked out." Khloe said. Damn, poor girl. I sat her down in the back of the limousine and sat with her.
I talked with her for a while in a concerned, fatherly sort of way. I tried my best to cheer her up any way I could, making jokes and finally getting her to smile. Suddenly she looked up at me with those big, brown eyes and grinned. "Would you come in and dance with me?" She asked coyly, "You seem so nice." "Oh, I don't know, I, um.I guess I could. Sure, why not?" I said trying to contain my newfound excitement.
I held Kim's hand as the four of us went inside. There were quite a few people in the large ballroom of the hotel. If there were a lot of famous people, I did not notice.
My attention was held by my new friends. "May I have this first dance?" I asked Kim politely. "Why yes sir, you may." She said softly. I paraded Kim around the dance floor as the crowded room looked on in envy. I held her tightly with my right hand firmly entrenched against the small of her back.
My face nestled against her soft, dark brown hair as she held me close.
I inhaled her feminine scent as our bodies kept time to the soft music as the band played on. Afterwards, I took turns dancing with Khloe and of course Kourtney. The band played a wide variety of numbers. There were the usual ballroom dance numbers as well as Latin dance numbers, which were particularly fun.
We danced the night away as we worked our bodies into a sweat on the dance floor. Afterwards, while sitting with the girls sipping cocktails at the bar, Kim looked up at me with those big, brown eyes.
"Will you come back to the room with us?" She asked coyly. "Huh?" "We have a room at this hotel. We always get one in case we party too much." She explained.
"Well." I thought about Joyce back home, "Well.I guess I could for a while." "Oh, thank you! We'll have a great time." The four of us got in the elevator, the three Kardashian sisters and me.
We headed up to the seventeenth floor where the room was located. Khloe took out a cardkey and opened the door. We all walked in. "Do you like champagne and caviar?" Kourtney asked. "Uh, yes." I answered. Kourtney picked up the phone and dialed room service. Minutes later a tray full of caviar and champagne was brought up and wheeled into the room on a cart. Kim grabbed a bottle of champagne and popped it open. The bottle overflowed wetting her hands and dripping all over the front of her red party dress.
A big wet stain formed on the front around her breasts. She looked at me and grinned.
"You're not going to let a girl sit around in wet clothes, now are you?" She said slyly. "That would not be right of me, now would it?" I answered. I began to help her out of her wet clothes, teasingly removing the shoulder straps with my teeth as I nibbled playfully at her neck. I could faintly taste the champagne as I caressed her neck with my tongue. Pretty soon the other two Kardashian sisters became jealous of the attention I was giving Kim.
Khloe took another bottle of champagne and shook it before popping the cork. The liquid shot up in the air and landed on the two young women as they stood side by side giggling.
"See, now you have to help us take our clothes off!" Kourtney giggled. Not one to disobey an order from a pretty young lady, I proceeded to help the remaining Kardashian sisters out of their clothes. The other two were soon standing in their underwear with their dresses at their feet.
As Khloe stepped out of the pile of clothing, I bent down and removed her underwear with my teeth, as I had done for Kim. I then repeated this favor for Kourtney. Kourtney then picked up the champagne bottle and tilted it back over her, pouring the bubbling liquid into her mouth.
It apparently came out faster than she expected as most of it overflowed down her chest, all the way down to her womanhood. I gladly helped her clean it off with my tongue. I started with her lips and cheeks and worked my tongue down the front of her body.
The flavor of the champagne perfectly complimented the delicate flavors of her womanhood. I paid extra attention with my tongue in this area. I certainly did not want the girl to be sticky from the champagne. When I had finished with Kourtney, Kim came over to me holding the bowl of caviar. "Do you want some?" She asked with a sly grin. She led me over to the bed and had me lie down. She then dipped her pussy into the bowl of caviar causing much of her womanhood to be covered in the slightly salty delicacy.
She then spread her legs over my head and brought her caviar-covered mound in line with my mouth. I went to work on her, cleaning her off with spotless precision. As I made sure to get every drop of caviar that stuck to her clit, she gave out audible moans. Afterwards the girls and I took turns eating the caviar off of each other's bodies.
I made circles with it around Khloe's nipples as she giggled in delight. Of course I ate every drop. I let the girls take turns eating caviar eggs off the head of my penis, the pre-cum that had formed no doubt adding a bit of flavor. The Kardashian sisters seemed to delight in licking every drop off of my now fully erect cock.
The licking of the caviar off each other's bodies continued along with the champagne. Kim grabbed an open champagne bottle and ran her tongue playfully around the open end. I took the bottle from her and teased her womanhood with the neck almost causing her to cum on the spot. Soon we were all on the bed, myself on my back while the girls took turns riding my now fully engorged erection. The festivities ended with Kim riding my cock to orgasm as her sister Kourtney sucked my balls and Khloe rode my face.
Everyone seemed quite content when it was over. Later I took the girls home and kissed them all goodnight.
We agreed to get together again should I ever return to the left coast. When I got back to my cousin George's house, George was up waiting when I got in. "Any problems?" He asked. "Nothing I couldn't handle." I said with a sheepish grin. "That's my cousin. Man, you're the best." "I know." I said in a somewhat proud manor. He looked at me quizzically as I went up the stairs to my room. Joyce woke up as I entered. "How did it go honey?" She asked drowsily.
"Oh, OK." I answered. I removed my clothes and climbed into bed. "You been drinking?" She asked. "Why do you ask?" I answered. "You smell like champagne." "Oh, I had a drink with one of the other drivers." She reached over and started stroking my chest. "You feel like fooling around?" She asked coyly. "No, actually I'm quite tired." I answered. "Hmmm.That's not like you." "I get like that sometimes.
You just don't know me long enough. Good night." I said. I reached over and turned out the light. "Good night." Joyce said as she rolled back over.
I was soon sound asleep. Joyce no doubt lay there for a while wondering why I really smelled of champagne, but I'll never know for sure. Anyway.that is the story of my last vacation.
That is exactly how I remember it, and believe me every word is true.
I would swear to it, but my mother told me never to swear. Later. 06-15-09.